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| 12:36am 29/03/2004 |
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forgot to tell u all this:
Rob White is dating AMANDA BOSSEN!! Now if that isnt random..then i dont kno what is! |
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| omg journal..you are gonna die |
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| 11:54pm 07/03/2004 |
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mood:  amused
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One word can sum up this entire weekend: INSANE!!!
Friday
So it was my intention to go to the library and do work for the whole day..i got there and started to fall asleep so I came back to my dorm and took a 2 hour nap..it felt sooo good! Then i woke up and headed off to the gym. Came back here and went to eat dinner with Lerch and his crew...i forgot it was a Friday and had chicken..whoops! So then I came back and got a shower..anxious for Jacquie to arrive!! So she got here around 8 or so! We unpacked everything including the bazillion bags she picked up from my mom..then went and got her a parking pass. We came back here and there was some drama about what was going on..but everything got worked out. We started drinkin and Lerch showed up. We video taped a bit..then at 11 Andrew, Brian, Isaac, and Pete showed up. I poured them some drinks and got the party started! We played drunk taboo which didnt turn out quite as planned..haha Ummm Jacquie called random places asking if they sold extra small condoms but brian messed it up every time cuz he would scream. It was one of the nights where i get bad when i drink..as far as the whole Brian thing. I kept feeding him drinks and stuff and he refused to take it...i kept liek touching him and all. Then he went to the bathroom..and i followed him. He left the door open when he peed and i came in and covered my mouth with my hand like ahh and then he came out and did the same. Basically I tried to rape him in the bathroom i think..i tried with all my might to pull him in but he broke loose and went into my room. Then i came in and was pissed off..and it all went down hill from there. We decided to go get pizza and Brian left ahead of us and that pissed me off. Jacquie pushed him down the steps..i love her!!! haha I was running my mouth about how much i hate him and saying how i was gonna punch him. We get to peace a pizza and we sat with them..i chucked a piece of bread stick at his face as hard as i could...and i ate with my middle finger the whole time. Then we arm wrested and i tried soo hard to win but i couldnt. Then as we were leaving i turned to him, smiled, and said FUCK YOU and left Yea i was bad. It was a fun night tho..Jacquie was holding Andrews hand the whole night..crack me up!! We came back to the room and made drunken phone calls..haha..they are the best!! I think Jacquie had fun and i did too..it definately a good time!!!
Saturday
We woke up and went to brunch..did some wash..then Jacquie left. I tried to get some studying done before Christina came. The weather was crazy. It was thundering with a tornado 1 minute and the next it was sunny. I walked to church and got myself some dinner on the way back at trabant. Then i got ready to go out and Christina arrived!! I finished getting ready, got into a fight with andrew online about the night before, we took some shots..then got on the drunk bus just in time. There was a crazy kid named Ernie on the bus..he lost Bert! haha So we got to Alicias around 9:30. Drank a little there..then headed off to Alicia's b/f. His roomie made us some AWESOME drinks there...and Christina ate their food! haha So then we all walked to the frat Sig Chi..and talked to "the midget"! I called Liz. We walked right into the frat without paying or anything...go us!! Put our jackets in some kids room..and then headed to the dance floor. All us girls were dancing together..and i was all over the pole! haha Christina was always going to get beer and i would drink some of hers even tho its nasty! So then i spot this gorgeous kid..so Christina and i go over..next thing i kno im grinding with him..like hardcore..and i was just like whats goin on..then hes like umm do u realize we are dancing but there is no music..haha..i think he wanted to get away from me..so i kissed him on the cheek and left. So then we just kinda chilled...my boy was talkin to some hoes so Christina and i stepped in front of them to cut them off from the boy..i love us! We headed to the bathroom and had a drunk pee..always a fun time! haha Then we went back down and danced some more..got stared at by the midget...then the COPS CAME! So were were like shit..we went to get our jackets but they were locked in the room so we were trapped. We headed up to the top floor and hung out waiting for the cops to leave. These 2 kids came up to us..and Janina knew them from high school. Then the cops leave and Christina and I are walking arm in arm with this kid. He showed me his bone and i was like feeling it..umm ya. So we go back downstairs and like EVERYONE is gone now..theres like 20 people. Christina goes and gets another beer..haha i love it. Then some how..i dont recall how..the 2 boys decide they are gonna have a kissing contest. So Christina and I are up against the wall and these guys are kissing our necks..for the record lemme state how orgasmic that felt..i could get used to it. Then they tried to get Christina and I to kiss but we refused..and there was just a whole lot of craziness going on. Then Janina told me we were leaving so i went to leave and Christinas boy came up to me and was like we never got a chance to kiss..next thing i know HIS TONGUE IS IN MY MOUTH!! UMM WHAT??? It felt sooo gross and i like freaked out and pushed him away and ran outta there..and everyone was like OMG CHRISTINA U GOT KISSED. Im like unfortunately yea..so we randomly start walkin to another party at like 1 am and im walking arm in arm with this girl Vivian and she was telling me how she was the biggest prude till she went to switzerland! haha Then we went to the 7-11 and phife dissapears..all i remember is reapeating how we needed to get away from that place cuz people get killed there..lol..so we walk to the burger king and i told Christina we should head back because Pencader was soo far..plus we wanted pizza. So we walk to peace a pizza talking to random people along the way..ignoring the kids who were hitting on us. We got some pizza which tasted soo good! Then i went to throw out my snapple bottle and i was too drunk to get it in so it crashed to the floor..and EVERYONE LOOKED AT ME!! IT was soooooooo emabrassing. So christina and I practically peed ourselves laughing and stumbled back to pencader. We taped some video which is hysterical and christina talked to her love on the phone for like an hour. Then we went to bed.
Today
We woke up..and i felt sick..not from drinking..but i think i caught mono last night or something..blah! We went to brunch..said bye to phife..and then started on my work. Alicia sent me pics from last night..they are sooo funny!! I hardly did work today..i suck at life lately..so much to do..bleh. But anyway this weekend was THE MOST FUN IVE HAD IN FOREVER!! I would live it all over again if i could. I love my NJ friends..they make me laugh so much!!
In 5 days i will be seeing my loves...I CANNOT WAIT!! Until later LJers.. |
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| update a roo |
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| 11:03pm 04/03/2004 |
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mood:  anxious music: Christine ~ Ben Jelen
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Well Im a slacker and havent done any work at all tonight! haha Im sitting here now listening to Ben's new CD which i bought online early. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! I heart him soo much. And my life has recently become SPECTACULAR because he will be opening for Hanson when i see them on March 13!! I dont think you understand that this is my dream concert!!!!!! I remember when Liz and I were talking about how awesome it would be if it ever happened. When i found out i jumped on top of her on the futon freaking out and then went out to the balcony and freaked out some more..haha im a nerd. So im REALLY excited about that.
Im hoping this weekend will be a good one. Michelle and Liz are going home so Im getting some of the NJ kids to come visit me. Phife already said she was coming on Saturday..so i cant wait! And Jacquies coming tomorrow..im sooooo excited!! Shes bringing alcohol too...score!! I hope we have a good time!!
Classes are ok..easier than last semester..less work i guess. Ok im goin..peace kids! |
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| Back at UD |
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| 12:38am 16/02/2004 |
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A lot goin on..dont feel like updating it all..but i wanted to share this quote:
"Let's face it...we've changed. We all changed. We've all gone in our own directions. Hearts were broken, friends diminshed, new love started and new people came into our lives. We no longer spend all our time in our circle of friends, we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We've changed - some for the better, some for the worse. SOme of us are finding love and others are trying to let go. Even though we've changed, we all know that even though we're all finding our own place in the world, that when we find our love, when we let go of a love, when the tears fall, or the happy smile spreads across our face... we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazzy world takes us and no matter what happens, nothing will ever change so much to the point that we're not all friends forever"
:) |
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| HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| 05:57pm 04/02/2004 |
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mood:  happy
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YAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! Im done work! Im so happy. And if that wasnt enough..i came home to find out that Hanson will be having a concert in NJ on March 13! I am sooo there! Its the day before Taylors bday..so theres gonna be all those annoying girls with signs and presents pertaining to that i bet! lol I also love how all the concerts close to me are on the weekends..and all the ones far away are on the weekdays..it should be the other way around. But i cant complain..im soo excited!! I want more pics of me and the boys! haha Its become an obsession.
So in work today they said they would miss my cute face! haha Made me feel good..and they told me they didnt want to see me on UD girls gone wild..could u imagine!? Im glad to be gone tho..i couldnt take much more sexual harassment! I ate lunch with Rob today..hes a good kid!
Tomorrow is Nat's Robs bday..we are gonna go get him a cake and then we are going out to eat. I need to do some major shoppin before i go back..and get my hair done.
**EDIT** Tracy did call me back!! YAY! Im getting my hair done Friday afternoon! :)
Anywho...im gonna go...UD in 3 days!!!! |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| one more day in paradise |
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| 06:55pm 03/02/2004 |
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mood: anxious music: Vanessa Carlton
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1 more day of work! YAY!! They took pictures of me today..haha..made me feel weird. Jim came out with a polaroid and started takin pics of me..he said he does that to everyone. haha I like Jim tho..hes a funny guy..told me not to be suprised tomorrow if a cop comes in the door..tells me im under arrest..and then puts on music and starts to strip! haha He was teasing me about hiring me a stripper to celebrate my last day! lol And the shop guy called me..and hes like if theres anything i can do for u..well i knooooowww what I CAN do for u..but if theres anything else let me kno. I just kinda sat there shocked. I have never had as many sexual advances as i do at this place..bleh!
Rob is meeting me for lunch tomorrow too. Missy met me today..told me about her boys..yes boys..shes dating 2 guys..my god..its so akward..whatever..id laugh if she got preggers and didnt kno who the dad was. Missys always good to go to lunch with..she buys me stuff! lol
I got my pics back from Temple..soo funny. The best pics are the 1s that u dont remember..love it! In 1 Phife is like pulling down her shirt..cracks me up! And then Rob is like picking my nose when i passed out..gross! Ahhh UD where are u!!!
Lets talk about how Liz and I have lost our minds. We are going to meet Ben Jelen on Feb 17..mind u its our 2nd week of classes. We both get done at 10:45..we are driving right to the train station which is like an hr and a half away..taking the 2 hr train ride..then meeting John..going to meet Ben..then coming back that night in time for our classes the next morning! I love how random my college years have become..god bless me when Hanson starts to tour! |
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| shits and giggles. |
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| 08:02pm 02/02/2004 |
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mood:  content
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Well..it feels good to be happy for awhile. And ive come to a conclusion..boys make me happy. And thats sad. Going to temple made me realize that brian isnt the only guy that will ever like me..their will be others at some point..whether it be because they are drunk off their ass or what...but Friday night was definately the happy pill i needed. It felt soo good just to chill with my friends from home..away from all the UD drama..and just be relaxed! I def cant wait to do that again..the nj crew makes me smile!
Today in work was interesting. I had to go to the shop to deliver a package..and i swear i felt like a prostitute. All the guys turned around and just blatantly stared..like they never saw a female before..i felt sooooooo uncomfortale...i just looked down and kept walking. Then a lil bit later the main guy in the shop calls me up..and hes like so word just got back to me that u walked into the shop..apparantly all the guys were talking! Im like ummmm. It was funny tho..hes like usually when that happens all works stops..some 1 cuts off a finger..or runs a forklift into the wall..haha Then he starts telling me how pretty I am and im like eehhhhh. Then this guy came in and kept calling me beautiful..like was i secreting pheromones or sumthin? Then this hot business guy comes in and starts talking to me and I was in love..and this 1 actually told me UD was a fun school! haha Its just so weird to me. Maybe its the diet? haha Or thats what i tell myself. I kno when i get back to UD tho..it will all go to hell! lol
Last night was the super bowl..and justin blaitantly ripped off Janet Jacksons top so her boob was chillin there exposed. In work today we were talkin about it..and his guy called me up and hes like Christina i got the pic of Janet I have to show u. So he brings it to me..and its def her boob with a circular ring around the nipple. It was kinda akward to be sitting there lookin at it with a 40 yr old man..haha but i guess thats what im supposed to do in this thing they call the business world!
UD in less than a week. Only 2 more days of work!! (Maybe thats my happy pill! ha) |
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| feeling happy feels nice! |
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| 07:02pm 31/01/2004 |
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mood: cheerful
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Ah Friday made for an interesting day. I had work..met Missy for lunch..she told me about the date she had the night before! haha Back at work the randomest thing happened. So im sitting there and this kid comes in..probably like 22..extremely hot...like he could be a model. He was a salesman..trying to sell some sort of a trip to a winery to my business. So hes telling me how i should go to this winery and get smashed..and i told him i was only 19..and then hes like well you could just come for dinner..and i told him i was leaving for school soon..he asked where..i told..then he proceeds to make a face and say that 98% of the people who go to UD are snobs! Ok this might be true..but only people who go there are allowed to say that! haha So that offended me. He was stumbling all over his words and stuff..and Jim came through and like made a face..lol. Then he asked if my parents liked to have fun..i was like umm i guess? So then the kid left. I was like umm what just happened. Jim came back in and was telling me how the kid was totally hitting on me? I told him what happened..and he teased me the rest of the day..he kept saying Christinaaaa will you go to the winery with meeee? haha It was funny. So then work finally ended and i was soo excited cuz i was going to temple!
Phife got here around 7:30..then Rob got here at 8. We left around 8:30 and were on our way! We got kinda lost but with my keen sense of direction we got there! So we parked (btw rob got a parking ticket! lol) and Michelle met us inside! Her dorm is really cool!! Im jealous. She has like this huge living room and kitchen and her own bathroom and all that good stuff. We met her roomates who were cool girls! :) I actually met a cool asian! lol We just kinda chilled for awhile..then Phife, Rob and I took some shots..3 to be exact. Then we headed outside to the FREEZING COLD! I met a bunch of Michelles friends...a shuttle bus came but we didnt all fit. So we started to walk..but then saw another so ran and got on it. It was funny. Every 1 was really loud and it reminded me of the UD drunk bus! lol I started talking to Michelles friends Andy. The kid is hot and nice..and i told Michelle she needs to marry him! So then we got off and went into this house where there was a party. One of Michelles friends left and gave me her alcohol she had..since i didnt like beer. This black kid kept talkin to me and and he walked by my and put his hands like under my shirt..ewwy! I said..too loud i think..that if my dad found out he would lynch him! Whoops! People thought phife and i were sisters..haha I sat on her lap for part of the night and used up my film. Then we moved to the couch with Rob and stole some popcorn and ate it. Umm we did the usual group of girls peeing routine..haha..definately a college staple. I fell down the steps on the way down..ha! Umm so yea around that part stuff gets to be a little blurry. I kno we left and got on a shuttle..without christina and her love for the night. Then we get to Michelles..and i remember Christina coming in..and Michelle said she was going to the Owls nest..and i was just standing there..next thing i kno im in Andys apartment with christina and his roomate. I see Christina making out with the kid on the balcony..and im laying on the futon..and some other girl is sitting on the futon too. Then i started to fall asleep and these kids came in and were like who the fuck are you. So i sat up and called Michelle. Phife and the boy walked me down..and Rob informed me he had bet Michelle that i got with Andy..let me state for the record that I DID NOT! I could never do that!!!! Then the room started to spin and i passed out on Michelles couch. I would like to thank her for takin care of me and taking off my shoes and giving me blankets..haha I woke up at 7 not sure how it had all gotten there. Rob and I woke up around 10..and Michelle came out awhile later. I called Phife..she didnt kno where she was..she had spent the night with the kid. So we ventured up and got her..and i got my jacket i forgot! Then we went and got something to eat! The place we went was really cool..i was impressed! :O) Then we ventured back on our way..and Christina and I ran into my house cuz we both had to go to the bathroom really bad!! lol So yea overall...it had a blast! The night was interesting..and it had its drama..but it was a good time! It makes me really anxious to go back to UD now! :) |
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| well i never thought id be posting this... |
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| 11:51am 24/01/2004 |
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mood:  cynical
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My house was robbed this week..scariest thing ever...definately one of those things you think could never happen to you. I'll give you a little recap of the happenings of that day.
So i went to work on Wednesday dreading it..my mom and I had a talk about me quitting it cuz i hate going so much. Then 12 rolled around and it was time for me to go home to lunch. So I get to my street and i see this white car at the house next door..i think to myself that looks like an undercover cops car..hmm..but think nothing else of it. As im walking to my door..i heard a noise from inside..like someone was looking at me from the kitchen..so i stopped..looked in and waited for another noise..nothing..so i figured it was my imagination. So i unlock the side door all excited to start eating..and im shocked at what i see. First thing is papers alllll over the kitchen. Initially i think hmm maybe my mom left it like that. SO i walk in and put the mail on the kitchen table..still not that scared. Then i see the living room. Completely a mess. Shit was thrown everywhere...i cant even describe to you. Then i think omg did some 1 break in and attack my mom..and i see a vision of me stumbling upon my moms body somewhere in the house..then I realized her car was gone..so she was at work. At that point I was still confused. I noticed the jar of pens from the kitchen was thrown into the living room..and thats when my mind actually started working and im like SHIT i need to get out of here. So i ran out stumbling with my cell phone. Honestly tho..if some 1 would have been in there..i prob would have been attacked cuz i still wasnt that scared..like i didnt believe it was all happening..i still thought their might be an explanation for it. So i stood outside the door..and i calmly told my dad the house was a mess...i walked around back and realized all the screens were cut open..and thats when i FREAKED out! Im like omg dad we have been robbed..my dad immediately called the cops...and i ran to the curb freaking out..cuz then i realzied some 1 might be in the house still. I ran up to the next door neighbors house and was about to knock when i saw Nat pull up..i started screaming her name when the cop came out of my other neighbors house with my neighbors. They had been robbed too. He told me to stay outside and went in my house to make sure no 1 was in there. My dad was on his way home. I went to Nats freaking out..i frantically went through her phone book shaking..its all a blur really. I finally found the number to my moms work..and called her. When i told her she started to cry and said she was on her way home. We went back to my house and the cop said it was clear but not to touch anything. Nat and I went it. I couldnt believe what i saw. Imagine everything in ur house just being thrown around..it made me sick to my stomch. Every drawer in the house had been emptied and thrown on the floor. I went up to my room...and it made me soooo mad...he had thrown my video camera, my UD ID, my UNDERWEAR all over. I started shouting mother fucker this..mother fucker that...im gonna kill this mother fucker..if he was there i would have brutally murdered him. Then Nat and I realzied the fucker had POURED HIMSELF A DRINK!! There was half of a coke sitting on the table..empty bottle next to it..cap on the floor. My mom pulled up and came in. She was in shock and was crying. Then my dad came home in record time..20 min for a drive that takes him 45! ha I had to go back to work tho..so i left. I was really upset at work and just sat there and stared..i still didnt know what he had taken cuz i couldnt touch anything. I was just happy my computer was ok. So i came home. Turns out they caught the guy..and the cop came over that night with our stuff. He stole my moms jewelry and money..including all my change I had been saving. He actually robbed 4 other houses on my block..and when i came home and had my dad call the cops..a cop was on his way over to my house when he spotted the guy..so i indirectly caught him! :) It was an 18 yr old punk..and i love how he told the cops he stole the change from "the little girls room" yet im older than him, he saw my college ID, and he saw my underwear..some of which a little girl should not be wearing! ha ;)
So anyway..now im terrified to be home alone..I slept with the nightlight on that night..and didnt really sleep much..i kept hearing noises. Bleh it sucks..but im just happy the guy was caught or else i would be even more terrified. Im psychologically screwed up now..i refuse to come home for lunch. I go to the mall. Yesterday Michelle (the roomie) and Jacquie met me at the mall for lunch. I got an Atkins wrap..incredibly delicious!
Last night Rob, Jacquie, and I all went to see the butterfly effect...awesome movie..def one of my new favs! And i was in love with the 12 yr old kid in the movie..haha..he was hot...reminded me of taylor in some strange way. It was a well deserved fun night. Next week Rob and I might go visit Michelle at temple so im excited for that if it happens!! :)
Works work. Im getting sick of it. But i have like 2 weeks left so whatever. I actually dont mind going now...cuz it gets me out of the house. Its scary to think if i didnt work..i would be asleep when the robber broke in..and he had a knife..u do the math. So i guess it was Gods rahter extravagant and unnecessary way of telling me to keep working. Ok big Guy. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| so much to tell |
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| 02:26pm 18/01/2004 |
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mood:  bored music: Rocks ~Ben Jelen
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Hmm so lets recap whats been going on in my life:
Im still working at this museum place where i answer phones from 8-5...ahh it sucksssss!!! Ive read like 10 books so far trying to pass the time. And the people are starting to give me attitudes. A lot of the guys are British...so i had to page this guy martin. Now i pronounce his name mart-in but apparantly "the correct" way to say it is mar-tin. So he gets an effin attitude with me..i wanted to be like listen ASS..this is fucking south jersey..not england..so get over it. Anyway he left for england on friday..i hope his plane crashed. So this other British guy was always really nice to me..so i would call him and ask ?s when i didnt know what i was doing..so i called him like the 3rd time one day and im like im really sorry to bother u..and hes like christina u can bother me whenever you want to..so he told me to take down the persons number on the phone..and write down my number too..im like excuse me? Yea so he asked for my number and ignored him and he hasnt said a word to me since. God i just want to be done with this place. It was only supposed to be for 3 days and now im going on my 3rd week. I feel like such an ass there. And the snow doesnt help my commute. This one guy that works there reminds me of Chris..like the way he looks at me..and he kinda looks like him too...it makes me miss the kid..which i never really did.
Last Monday i went to NYC to see Ben Jelen. He was absolutely amazing. He made taylor look untalented. (Speaking of taylor it turns out he and ike was 4 miles away that night doin some show with this guitar guy) He played the piano, guitar and violin. I was front row center and the whole show just completely blew me away. Liz and I were quite the smart girls when it came to the subway! ha We made our way around NYC like pros...but then when we were leaving the concert at like 11 the subway was closed!!?? So we freaked and wound up taking a cab to Johns. We had fun there that night. He put his blonde extensions in my hair and we did a photo shoot..i look like a slut but they are sexy! haha His mom was there too and shes a cute little woman! So then we left in the morning and came back to Jersey.
I got my class schedule. I only got 3 of the classes i picked and only 8 credits. So now I have to stress over what other classes to take. I wanted to take ecology but its the same time as my honors biology..and i cant switch that cuz i went thro a lot to get into honors.
Last night was my grandpops bday party. It really made me happy cuz he looked soo much better and was making jokes again. He really had me scared around Christmas time cuz he was doin really bad. My diet completely CRASHED because i ate tons of cake and ice cream. Whoops. The atkins thing worked for awhile until i started eating low carb stuff and now im back to my normal weight. I shall be made of chunk forever i suppose. I must put a quote in here from my gpop from last night..i was dying laughin when Phil told me what happened. So Phil had a shirt that said Brooklyn..and my gpop asked him what it said. When Phil responded with Brooklyn my gpop replied "Aint you white?" hahahahaha Just imagine this cute little 83 yr old man saying this and its hysterical! Sigh..i love him. In fact I wrote "I love you" in his card which ive never writtern nor said to anyone. Love is a weird thing to me. Im odd.
I wanna go back to UD. Not the way I used to want to go back..like for the fun and all..but just cuz i want to get out of this house and not have to work. I wish i could go to school forever and never work..cuz i hate working soo much! I need to fall in love with some 1 this semester..i really do. Im so hung up on last spring semester..i need something new to happen. I think this winter session has helped me move on a little bit. I dont care about talkin to Brian online anymore..like that used to consume my days..wanting to talk to him. But not anymore. Ive accepted the fact that he will always be an asshole towards me..and i was pretty much a game to him and chris last year. I just wish i could find a new group of friends with whom i have as much fun with as i did with all my boys last semester. I guess i like being the center of attention..thats my nature as a leo. And thats what i was last yr...BLEH.
All my friends are going back to college today. SUCKS! I hate being here by myself for like 3 more weeks. Winter session needs to stop.
The Eagles came is on today. Everyone is hyped and Uncle tuck is here. I cant get into football..it bores me.
I need to eat..cuz thats what i do best..bye bye. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| who knew the speedline was a train? |
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| 06:29pm 10/01/2004 |
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mood:  cold
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So i tried updating earlier and had written a lot but it got deleted..so this 1 isnt gonna be long..ill add some highlights:
*i got a job answering phones...8-5...its a long day..but i make $10/hr so its not bad. i now am alloted the time to read a whole novel in 1 day!
*my diet is working..i lost 8 lbs and im finally into the 120s like i had hoped for..next goal is the teens!!
*last night i went to philly with michelle, phife, and rob..it was a fun night..minus the part that the speedline brokedown...a lot of random funny stuff happened..and if u are wondering what..read foofythecats entry in my friends list..haha...she has a fabulous recap.
*im going to see ben jelen on monday night..i cant wait..hes awesome!
thats about it. ok bye. |
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| bored |
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| 01:26pm 05/01/2004 |
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mood: blah
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Ah life continues. Nothing exciting is happening. On Saturday i went down the shore for a family party. Stopped and saw Aunt Marita on the way and wound up buying a pair of blue and gold sneakers(showing my UD spirit!)at Marshalls. At the party i just kinda sat around..and messed with this 7 yr old kid telling him i wanted to marry him and he was grossed out..as are all the boys these days! ha Aunt Barbara Jean hooked me up with a bunch of Atkins candy which is actually good..so Ive been eating that. And my mom bought me Atkins bread..it tastes like dog food but it will have to do.
Last night Phife came over and we watched 28 days later. Odd little film..but the main character was hot so that kept us amused (and he was naked in the beginning! ha) Shes in love with another boy..i wish i could be in love with another boy..but i dont see that happening in the future.
So ive been talking to this kid from a band in DE..hes gonna play at UD in the spring..and his pic on his website wasnt that bad..and he has a song named christina which excites me..so last night he sent me his pic and hes DISGUSTING!! Ew! He looks like hes 40 and hes only like 22..so he says. Bleh. So thats gotta end.
All the winter session people went back yesterday. So Brians online all the time now..and his away always references his gf..and im no longer talked to..so i guess i was just some entertainment while he was bored over the summer. Yesterday was his 1 yr anniversary with his gf..which is FUCKING hysterical considering i didnt kno about her till Sept..and he was trying to get with me all last semester. I kno i talk about this like every journal entry but im bitter. One day tho..i will get over him..and i hope that day comes soon.
I feel kinda lost lately. I dont want to go back to UD but i dont want to be here in NJ..i dont think im meant to be here. I think im supposed to live in the medevil times in a castle and wear pretty dresses...and id be one of the girls all the guys fight to marry and they have to get my dads permission. I could rock that life style...haha. Ya cabin fever must be setting in. So im gonna go...peace |
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| im a failure. |
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| 12:01am 31/12/2003 |
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mood:  disappointed
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Well im done with the Atkins diet..its just not for me. My body runs on sugar. I couldnt fall asleep till 4 last night..i hate my body's schedule being out of whack! I got up at 12. Made myself some scrambled eggs..it was my first time cooking! haha Husband here i come. Then i watched Pirates of the Caribean. Pretty good movie. I was home alone all day cuz mom was visiting grandpop..she said he seemed a little better which was good. I was soooo hungry and was craving cookies all day. I had string cheese and peperoni..bleh. I felt faint and dizzy all day..like whenever i would stand up the room would go black for a second. Then my family got pizza for dinner..i got a chicken cheesesteak but didnt eat the roll. To add to my splendid day dad brought home homemade cookies..i was drooling..and my family didnt make it any easier by waving it in front of my face. I was in a really bad mood..cuz i didnt have my sweets. So i was going off at everyone..and my sister is annoying to begin with. So around 9 i CRASHED. I got on the scale and i had GAINED weight so i was like FUCK IT!! I felt like a bulemic person..minus the purging..just the binging. I raided the house and shoved like 10 cookies in my mouth and a ton of chocolates..then jelly beans. I think i had an orgasm just cuz it tasted sooo good! lol So yea i figured ive been fat and ugly 19 yrs of my life..what the hell is a few more gonna do!? And ive basically decided i will never get a boy..its all very depressing. Esp since ive been watching all these movies where people are in love and frollicking in fields together..gag me. I'll be the lady that has 17 cats, lives in a cluttered apartment by herself..and reaks of cat piss on a daily basis! lol O what a dream. All i wanna do is have sex in a castle in Ireland damnit!! haha Is that too much for a girl to ask for? I amuse myself. Goodnight. |
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| your spirits calling |
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| 12:31am 29/12/2003 |
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mood: bored music: I will come to you ~Hanson
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Ok so its time for an update.
****Christmas****
Well i didnt get up till 10 or so. Headed downstairs with the rents. I opened gifts first. The highlight..a new cell phone and windows XP. Then my rents opened theirs. My dad got the first ring he ever bought my mom re-set and started to get all filled up when he gave it to her..which is WEIRD cuz he NEVER has cried in front of me..not even when his dad died! SO then i sat around eating..watched Neverending Story 2..i miss you jonathan brandis!!! Then Uncle Tuck and Marita came..then Billy and Jen. They got me some awesome gifts. SO then my mom was opening one of their gifts..and it was a rattle..and my brother shouted.."Merry Christmas Grandma!!" yes...IM GOING TO BE AN AUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So my mom started bawling and basically cried all night cuz shes wanted a grandchild forever! We are all so excited! The baby is due July 27. It disturbs me that my bro has sex tho..EW! How crazy is this story?? They said that they have been trying for like a yr..and couldnt get pregnant. So Jen was going in for surgery to see what was up..so she was there..all ready to go..in the gown and everything..my bro had taken 3 days off from work..and the doctor comes in and says they cant do the surgery cuz shes pregnant! WOW! I guess her body really didnt want to get surgery! lol SO yea that was the highlight of the day. Then the egers came over for a little. That was about it.
On friday i went to go visit my grandpop. I hate seeing him like this..i feel like he went down so fast. He was sitting in the formal living room under a blanket..he seemed ok when i got there...he was joking around with me and stuff...but he was really tired. I sat next to him most of the night..and told him he had to get better for the baby. Thats my one wish..i want him to live to see the baby..i prayed the rosary the other night for that. (He was the first 1 that Billy called after he told us..my aunt said it was the first time my grandpop smiled all day..he pounded his fist on the table and said "Its a baby"! He said he had been praying for it. I love that man!) At night tho he started to get a little worse. He was getting really confused and started using a teabag as a napkin..sigh..i tried not to look. Then as he went to the bathroom he told aunt trish "I hate doing this to my gang" talking about my sister and I..he knows hes confused..and hes so frustrated by it. All i can do is pray. So i came home and Jacquie called me. We decided to hang out. It was good to see her..i missed her..when we were best friends everything was so simple. THe weirdest thing is that after all this time we are still so alike..she walked in and told me she had the same shirt as i was wearing..and she also has the same video camera!! So we watched my college movies and then went and rented jeepers creepers 2 and went to her house to watch it..it was a good time..the movie made us laugh. I also watched some of her college videos.
So then Saturday..i didnt do much of anything..layed around..went to church.
Today was an ok day. Missy woke me up at 12:30 by calling me to see if i wanted to go see a movie. We saw cheaper by the dozen..it was cute..and DEAN WAS IN IT! Hes sooo hot. The lady in front of me reaked of cat piss so that sucked. Then i came back and "started" my atkins diet. I had eggs and chicken for dinner...followed by cake cookies pretzels and chocolate..so much for that! hahahaha I suck at life! Michelle called me to see if I wanted to so something. So she came over and we watched the old video we made..it was funny. Then we rented pirates of the carribean and just married. We watched the latter. It was really good! It made me realize how my 1 goal in life is to find true love and get married. I cant wait for my wedding day. I want my husband to cry when i walk down the aisle..and i cant wait for that night! ;O) Ok my hand hurts so im gonna go. Im callin the temp agency tomorrow about a job! Bleh! |
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| Its christmas eve |
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| 10:56pm 24/12/2003 |
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mood: bored music: Merry Christmas Baby
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So im back home in NJ..its already boring. Christmas isnt going to be that fun this yr. Grandpop is really sick..has me upset..he was in the hospital today..he doesnt know who he is..its bad...he says he justs wants to die. Missy has to work tomorrow..so for the first time in 19 yrs i have to open presents by myself..Lucy wont even be here...i miss my old life. Im sitting here listening to live hanson songs...i love crazy beautiful..my all time favorite song..definately reminds me of the past summer. Im bored so here you go.
1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before? I met Hanson..to be more specific..hugged the love of my life..Taylor! haha Never thought id say that.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I dont make them cuz i just break them
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Ummm not that i kno of..but knowing my high school about 5 girls that i was friends with prob did that i dont kno about
4. Did anyone close to you die? omg yes..this year has been horrible for that...Matt, Mr. Hartwell, michelle just informed me her gmom today...i hate death..its stupid.
5. What countries did you visit? No Countries.
6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003? A boyfriend!
7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 10 - first time i met Hanson..Taylor hugged me..Walker commented to the boys that "it was always nice to take pictures with attractive girls"..sigh!!!! and Oct 17 - met Hanson again, got a hug from Zac! Halloween - i was drunk off my ass and sat on the train tracks as a train was coming...
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? achieving my childhood dream of meeting Hanson..getting a 4.0 in college
9. What was your biggest failure? Falling head over heals for Brian
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? no
11. What was the best thing you bought? umm underneath acoustic? lol
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Jacquie..shes a very strong person
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? B R I A N
14. Where did most of your money go? HANSON! and textbooks! ha
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? hansons tour dates, halloween, nyc, going back to UD
16. What song will always remind you of 2003? Crazy Beautiful
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? a shit load sadder..wow
ii. thinner or fatter? about the same I guess...
iii. richer or poorer? pooooorrrrr
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? liked more guys than being obsessed with 1
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? been so damn prude
20. How will you be spending Christmas? home
22. Did you fall in love in 2003? first time ever..was it real?..prob not
23. How many one-night stands? hahaha funny sir!
24. What was your favorite TV program? RICH GIRLS!! haha i love those bitches
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? ya i didnt even kno the people last yr that i hate now..damn SLUTS
26. What was the best book you read? Black and Blue..the only book i read..for my womens studies class
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Ben Jelen! Dashboard
28. What did you want and get? met Hanson
29. What did you want and not get? Brian in my bed.. ;)
30. What was your favorite film of this year? finding nemo
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 19..i sat around and waited for brian to call me..but he never did...i went out to eat with my gpop and aunt trish
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? kissing brian
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003? wore whatever was comfortable and i wanted to wear to class at 8 am
34. What kept you sane? concerts
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? This is easy..HANSON
36. What political issue stirred you the most? i dont pay attention to politics..would the capture of Sadam count? lol
37. Who did you miss? My old life, lucy
38. Who was the best new person you met? Liz!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003: you could be the nicest girl in the world..but a guy will always want a girl who will have sex with him over you...and also...God can take people away in a heartbeat.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "waking up this morning thinking this cant be real" |
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| TAYLOR HANSON IS EFFIN AMAZING!!!!!!! |
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| 11:24pm 24/11/2003 |
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mood:  horny music: LOVE ME ~TAYLOR EFFIN HANSON!
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Im listening to a sound clip of him singing this song called "Love Me" at carnegie...omg..i cant even explain how beautiful his voice is..even among all the screaming and static..it still shines through....sigh. Natalie is the luckiest girl alive...what i would give to just tap that for ONE night...LOVE HIM!! Who they hell would cause him to 'cry in his room'...i mean i'd make him cry..but for totalllllyyy differnt reasons!! Ok im going to stop now cuz my hormones are raging wayyy to much than they should be. I cant wait to see my boys again! :O) |
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| well im back |
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| 10:57pm 24/11/2003 |
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mood: anxious music: "Everytime" ~Britney Spears
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After a long hiatus. I actually have time to update cuz Thanksgiving is this week and i dont have much work to do. So lets see..whats up with my life? Hmmm
Well i did go see Hanson in VA...fucking amazing!!! I finally got my long awaited picture with Taylor..just Taylor! Sigh..it was worth the 6 yrs..ill have to scan it in at some point. And i got an amazing hug from Zac which was an orgasm in itself. I love how im almost 20 and im still teenying over these boys...they just have that effect of me i suppose! Then i went to see them at Carnegie Hall in NYC..which was AMAZING!! We had awesome seat..dead center..4th row..and having isaac sing teach your children well to me was quite entertaining..i would have his kids if he wanted to..and we could teach them just fine!! ha Umm so ya thats the latest with Hanson.
School. Amusing. Sooo much work..but it went fast so..ya. For nutrition i had to formulate a diet to feed my chicks..and then see how they did for 4 weeks. Suprisingly they didnt die! And tonight i finished a huge ass paper I had to write about it..10 pages! Whew! I think im gonna get all As and Bs tho..so thats good.
Pencader still sucks. Ive had some good weekends though. Ive basically become an alcoholic. Halloween night was the worst..i was completely GONE..like i dont remember half the night..supposedly i went up to some boy with long blonde hair and kissed him...and then walked around the whole night telling people i kissed Taylor Hanson..haha...i love how my dream world becomes reality when im intoxicated. Another night i stradled Brian so i could spike his hair..i dont think he was too happy about that..cuz we dont talk anymore..o well. You kno he would have gotten off on that last year..now he acts like he doesnt like it cuz hes fucking some big girl. haha His loss. He could fuck something cellulose-free...but he rather not..his choice. Ummm what else....
On a sad note..Jacquies dad passed away. So depressing. I came home from NYC late wed night/thur morn (nov 5/6)..went to bed at 4..skipped my 8 am..woke up for my 9:15..and had an IM from jacquie telling me her dad had died the night before...i sat there shocked..i didnt kno what to do. So i had 2 exams that day..and did horrible on them cuz i couldnt concentrate..all i thought about was Jacquie..plus i had no sleep the night before. I mean i got a 100 on my first comm exam..and then that day i got a 70..the lowest grade ive gotten this semester yet..in the easiest class. So that weekend i went home..and saw her..and went to the viewing. A lot of crying and hugging. I was depressed forever...Makes me so sad..makes me miss being young soo much.
Ive done a lot of missing lately. I miss pencader A sooooooooooo much..like i would sell my soul to get back all the amazing nights i had there...1 in particular. And i miss high school when everything was so simple and i didnt have a HUGE desire to have a b/f..i was content with just being by myself.
Umm so this weekend i want to go see Mike..see what happens..hes hot..i really should do something about that. All he wants to do is have sex with me tho..and god knows i dont do that..so i must be a good girl! ha Once i get some tequila in me tho im good to go! I called him this weekend when i was drunk..i dont remember what i said. It was the first time ive drank since Halloween..so i was allowed to okay!? lol Ive had soo much work and so little time to do it.
Im listening to the new britney cd now..pretty good..even tho shes a hoe. She was on some show and started crying..i was cracking up..esp when she pointed to herself and proclaimed "STRONG BRITNEY!" Who does that?
Ok im going to go..hope all is well with whoever still reads this...bye my luvs! |
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| back at UD |
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| 11:37pm 14/09/2003 |
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mood: disappointed
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Well here I am..back at college..for another year. All summer I was soooo excited to get back..and now..i dont want to be here. Last semester I seriously had the best time of my life!! Everything went amazing..guys..the quad..classes..parties..it was a great 4 months. But now..everything is different. Im back in Pencader..problem is..no one else is. Everyone lives like 20 min away..with all the other sophomores. And here in Pencader it is mostly frosh. The girls in my quad are HUGE BITCHES. They make no effort to say hello or even smile. Quite different from last yr...when everyone was super nice. The most depressing part might be the fact that Brian has this serious gf...who he admitted hes had since FUCKIN DECEMBER!! What the hell was last yr then?? Why did he make me decide between him and chris when he obviously had a girl?? If i was her i would be pissed about all the advances he was making towards me!! It makes me soo mad that our whole friendship was based on lies. I Imed him and asked why he did all this..and he said "he never meant to hurt me". What a crock of shit...thats the typical answer. He said stuff happened that he didnt want to talk about...so god knows this girl is prob knocked up..because all the boys i want tend to knock up thier girlfriends. ha. So ya thats kinda crazy. Andrew is a doll tho. Ive hung out with all the A people and Alicia and Janina for the past 2 weekends...and Andrew always walks me back at like 3 am. Thank god for him. My classes suck this yr. I have a class called women and violence which is basically all about rape so i am now having nightmares that I am being attacked. Lovely. I have no motivation to do work..in fact i didnt do a damn thing since thur..which isnt good considering im takin 17 credits. I honestly think my happiness last yr made me do better in school...cuz im so sullen lately that i cant concentrate. Sigh. Im hoping things will get better as the yr goes on tho..cuz thats how it went last yr. Last night i went to staceys sisters and we all drank..probably the highlight of my yr so far...minus the fact that i was puking through my nose this morning! ha Cute. I also want this boy that lives on Staceys floor..he told Stacey that i was hot..and he is beautiful..not to mention his name is Zac..so i want him. Ummm i dont know what else to say. Michelle is asleep already so i feel bad for making all this noise with the keyboard. So im gonna go to bed. Dont kno when ill be back.
P.S. IM GOING TO SEE HANSON AGAIN ON OCT 17 IN VA!! I CANNOT WAIT!! :o) |
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| saying goodbye |
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| 01:45am 23/08/2003 |
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mood:  tired music: "Hands Down"~Dashboard
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So all my friends have started heading back to college. I went to Beccas tonight with Michelle to say goodbye to her cuz shes leaving for Pittsburg tomorrow. We looked at old yearbooks..it was quite amusing laughing at the holy cross folk. And lets talk about how beastly i was back in the day..no wonder i never had a boy! Speaking of boys..they break my heart. I love how this boy..who shall remain nameless...professes his love for me during the school year, telling me "i would give up everything for you", flirts with me like its his job..yet never does anything about it during the year..then in the summer he tells me how im going to spend the weekends in his dorm, and asks me why i dont seduce him..yet...HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!! Thanks for letting me know!! So it looks like all the dreams i had conjured up with this boy are SHATTERED! Sigh. I feel like girls are always getting in my way. Always stealing the boys I want. Knowing my luck he will knock her up and marry her before the year is over..wouldnt that be amusing! haha Im not bitter or anything...
On a lighter note..my bday party is tomorrow! Im excited..yet nervous. Cuz a lot of my friends I havent seen all summer are coming..so it should be interesting.
Monday Im going to the beach with Andrew..and michelle might come...if the slime dissapears! haha Andrew is such a nice kid! Hes telling me how I am always welcome at his dorm and hes always been sweet to me. I told him if Im not married by the time im 30..me and him shall wed! haha I suck at life.
I need some more concerts. I wanna go see dashboard but the concert is the day after i move in at school. And if my boys decide to return for a 3rd leg..this college shit better not mess it up..cuz id be all about failing just to see them..how pathetic is that? They just do something to me that i cant explain...their crazy beautiful! :O) |
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crackie's journal
depressed